A serious romantic relationship, whether it be through marriage or dating, is a difficult thing to maintain. Both people involved are allowing themselves to be open and vulnerable with another person because he/she trusts them. We’re all guilty of putting on the rose-colored glasses when the thrill of a new romance takes control, but things like communication and patience must come into play once the “honeymoon phase” wears off.
To put it simply, when we enter a relationship, we’re giving someone else our precious time. Often, it’s worth it since we care deeply for and respect the person we are giving it to, but it’s unrealistic to think a relationship will always be in equilibrium. In the same way couples love and connect, they fight and disagree too, that’s just how relationships work. Even the most romantic of couples have their moments of doubt and conflict. Many of these issues resolve over time and, as a result, make the bond between a couple stronger. But sometimes these disagreements become more and more frequent, and both sides lose their desire to make things work.
When you and your partner/spouse aren’t communicating, you’re growing distant. That playful attraction you once felt for your significant other has long vanished, creating a space between the two of you. This silence isn’t always mute. To explain, you may both go through the motions of having the same arguments over and over, but you’re not actually communicating. Under the surface, there’s so much more you want to say, but the silence remains in the form of routine arguments and nitpicking.
Realistically, you both know these arguments aren’t going to resolve the deeper disconnect you’re feeling, but you’ve run out of ideas. This is where WeHo Couples therapy comes in to help. Talking with a therapist will allow you and your partner/spouse to communicate how you’re really feeling. Also, you’ll get an outside perspective on your relationships, which will bring fresh ideas and suggestions to how you and your partner can resolve your issues. But fighting, arguing, and nitpicking aren’t the only signs you need couples therapy.
The examples above covered what most people think of when they picture an unhappy couple, but what about the kind that’s not as easy to spot? There are plenty of couples that don’t argue or fight, and they enjoy each other’s company, yet they still feel a disconnect.
In an article on Today’s Parent titled “6 Signs You Need Couples Therapy” author Liza Finlay describes this as,
“You are suffering from what I call ‘marriage malaise.’ Nothingâ€™s really broken, but still you feel you need a fix. Youâ€™ve become roommates; the love is stale.
For many, couples therapy is a tonic; itâ€™s the tune-up that makes your relationship hum. Maybe you learn a few new tricks, or maybe the simple commitment of an hour each week will put the spring back in your two-step.”
One sign that you’re suffering from “marriage malaise” is that you’ve stopped sleeping together. Over time, this lack of intimacy turns a once romantic relationship into a more casual one. Talking to a therapist can help uncover the reasons why you’ve stopped sleeping together, and offer suggestions that help ignite the flame again.
There are many other reasons why couples seek the help of a West Hollywood couples therapist. To name a few:
Sometimes couples want to take an already strong relationship and make it stronger. For instance, couples that are engaged and heading to the altar may want to make sure they’re communicating effectively before taking the next big step. Weddings are stressful, hectic, and overwhelming, which is why a safe, calm atmosphere is often desired but not easy to find. Luckily, couples therapy sessions offer said environment, allowing couples to talk about how and why they’re feeling the emotions they’re feeling leading up to the big day.
Even content married couples can benefit from therapy. Unfortunately, most people are too quick to assume counseling is just for couples who have hit rock bottom. This misconception is far from the truth. Even though unhappy couples are more likely to seek out the assistance of a psychotherapist, counseling is the perfect place for happy couples to learn valuable communication skills. Further, a couple may just want a fresh perspective on their relationship.
As mentioned earlier, my therapy sessions offer a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere for you and your partner. First, I’ll ask general questions to find out where the problem lies. Next, I’ll offer guidance to you and your partner on how to modify dysfunctional behavior, improve communication, and change your views on the relationship.
Since we’ll be discussing difficult subjects, emotions are likely to go in all directions. Â We are here to guide you through that process.
If you have any questions or concerns about our couples therapy sessions, please contact us!